So this could be my life...

Two nights ago John and I went the big "spouses/girlfriends" Air Force meeting. John had brought up this meeting and invited me to come over a month ago and ever since I have been dealing with a constant anxiety about what this meeting could mean for us. The minute marriage and the whole husband and wife thing comes up, I feel a genuine itchy sensation. No, not like a good itch (is there really such a thing as a good itch?). More like "Oh my god, I can't breathe because I feel claustrophobic in my own skin!" itch. It's not that I am uncomfortable with the idea of being married; I just know I have so many other things I want to do before that time in my life. Let's just say I'm not ready, and I know John isn't either. So it seemed like a big step to be going to meeting where we would be forced to talk about what life would be like if we are still together five, ten, years from now.

Anyway, the meeting went really well. Neither of us cried, had an anxiety attack, or ended the relationship so that was good. It was basically just a question and answer session with John's Captain and his wife (who is coincidentally originally from Bloomington as well...of course, I think this is a sign in some way). They helped clear up a lot of misconceptions for me, and generally painted a very happy picture of the Air Force lifestyle. Among the highlights (or lowlights, whatever your perspective):

1. AF personnel generally get a new assignment every 3-4 years
2. AF personnel are generally required to travel on various missions adding up to what would equal a 4 month deployment every two years
3. The military hooks you up hardcore with benefits!
4. There is an AF "Wife Handbook" and and "Officer's Wives Club." FYI: How to properly serve tea and write formal correspondence to other spouses is covered in the handbook. Thank god.
5. Finding a job with every move sucks. But if you want a career, you can make it happen. (You just have to deal with the fact that you will never be in one job for more than a few years.)

Needless to say, the highlights/lowlights would mean drastically changing my "pre-John life plan." I'm currently digesting the information and pretending like I don't really have to deal with these huge life decisions.